Hacker News
points by casualscience 13 hours ago | 0 comments
LOL, this obsession people have with dancing. This is horrible advice. Find a club or social scene doing something you like, don't pick up a random hobby you don't like just to "meet people".
[–] allenu 12 hours ago
Dancing is good advice because you have a good mix of genders and it's something you can grow to love over time. It's also a great community that's fairly welcoming once you start going regularly. Take a class and you automatically have a social group of other beginners.

The problem with nerds finding a social scene for what they already enjoy doing already is that there's a very good chance it's going to be a male-dominated activity. Going to a tech meetup or a board game night is a decent way to make friends, but not so much a mate.

[–] lukan 13 hours ago
I just share how I successfully meet and connect with women.

Dancing is the language of the body. I don't like small talk and am probably a introvert, but by dancing - connection comes easy and natural to me (at the right place).

Besides, the village dance was the traditional way for couples to hook up. And before that, there was the tribal drum.

[–] kakacik 13 hours ago
I met my wife during climbing. Many girlfriends before due to organizing climbing sessions for various folks. Go climbing. Its just natural movement, sort of like vertical ballet on the wall, feels absolutely great, one does semi-continuously builds massive mental resilience to everything in life, since looking in the face of your death and coming out on top, multiple times an evening, many evenings, builds character like very few other endeavors. People you meet in community are often very inspiring. Its also high intensity interval training for upper body.

And then you try climbing outdoors on rocks big and small and thats it, people quit their careers and do vans/camping for rest of their lives just to do climbing (plus connected sports, there are many).

Can be many other activities, dancing ain't more special than many others. I'll stick with my climbing, you with your dance. Everybody wins.

[–] lukan 12 hours ago
Oh, dancing with rocks is advisable as well and I also enjoy it very much.
[–] casualscience 13 hours ago
That's great, I met my partner at the gym, doing something I like and consequently became good at.

Sounds like you like dancing. Congratulations and I'm happy you met someone doing something you like. That's a good strategy.

As far as village dance blah blah, people absolutely meet at parties, lots of people also dance at parties, correlation is not causation.

[–] lukan 13 hours ago
"As far as village dance blah blah, people absolutely meet at parties, lots of people also dance at parties, correlation is not causation."

Maybe do some more casual science on social history?

But you surely can meet partners however you like and not everyone needs to love dancing, but the "obsession" people have with it simply goes back a looong way.

And aside, I actually do claim anyone who is not physically handycapped, very likely enjoys dancing if introduced to it in a easy way (look at how most children behave if you give them a rhytm), most grownups nowdays just associate it with awkward social situations, which I think is sad. I know some fellow nerds of mine, forever single, forever avoiding all situations where they would meed potential partners.

[–] casualscience 11 hours ago
Lifting weights is a way to show physical dominance. Physically dominant men provide security and safety to women meaning they will be seen as the best mates. Throughout history the most physically dominant men had the most sexual success. Therefore I recommend you don't dance and lift weights instead.

See how fucking annoying and dumb this bro science is. Dancing is nothing special, just happens to be a social activity YOU like and I agree a lot of women like it. But the advice to "learn to like dancing" if you don't is bad.

[–] lukan 10 hours ago
Not sure how open you are challenging your perspective. Because in some ways, yes lifting weights does work for a certain subset of women.

But if you take the dominance angle, dancing works better here. Because it shows dexterty, moving along with other people .. and self confidence in a social setting. Knowing how to dance through life. Not awkwardly stand aside. And lifting weights (on its own) is just a indicator of muscle mass, not muscles in combination with brain, which is evolutionary much better. Otherwise we all would have evolved as big bulls.